And All That Could Have Been
by ghosts
Summary: this is pretty much a song fic based on the NIN song 'And All That Could Have Been' with Snape and Hermione.


_A/N - _I don't own any of the characters thats the amazing J K Rowling :) aside from Morgan and Trent, I don't take any credit for the song 'And All That Could Have Been' credit for that goes to the almighty Trent Reznor and Danny Lohner. This is my first fic so let me know what you think.

**Flash Back**

"Hermione you know that this can not go on! You're taking over my mind and it's too dangerous to be around the Dark Lord when you're all I can think about. I can not allow him to know I am attached to you it would kill me if he used you against me. Please understand I do not want this but it is the only way!" Severus pleaded as he looked into Hermione's eye's which held unshed tears. Sighing he pulled her to him wrapping her in his arms he gently kissed the top of her head and held her till her crying subsided.

"I'll do this for you Severus, because I love you, but I promise you that after the war if we both survive I will come back for you." She whispered into his frock coat, and slowly pulled away. Looking into the deep depths of his eyes she gave him one finally kiss before she was gone

_Breeze still carries the sound  
Maybe I'll disappear  
Tracks will fade in the snow  
You won't find me here_

**Present Day**

Severus was sat in his study watching the snow fall outside his family home. He sighed to himself as he kept playing the memory of Hermione leaving in his mind over and over, it had taken place in this very room 13 years ago, and he still could not get it to leave him be. The Great Battle as everyone had taken to calling it took place just months after he told her to leave him, and true to her word, a few days later she came back to him. Something he couldn't allow, the battle had changed them both and it made him realise just what he was nothing but a cold blooded murderer. She didn't need someone like him an Ex-Death Eater, a bitter old man, in her life, not as a lover. He could not taint her with his darkness, her light was so pure. He would not do that to her. He hated being the evil potions professor to her to get her to leave him but he had to make her see somehow. 

_Ice is starting to form  
Ending what had begun  
I am locked in my head  
With what I've done  
I know you tried to rescue me  
Didn't let anyone get in  
Left with a trace of all that was  
And all that could have been_

He stood up and paced the study the damn chit had done it again and invaded his mind, he had a new life he had a family which he cherished and would not allow memories of her to over come him again. As he took his seat he heard the foot-steps of his son running toward the study. "Trent you will cease running this instant!" Severus bellowed before his son even reached the door. The footsteps slowed to a fast walk and Trent quickly walked into the study. Severus raised an eye-brow. "Sorry father it's just that well I have some very urgent and terrible news" Trent's voice shook. Severus rolled his eyes "Trent you always have **urgent **or **terrible** news so spit it out boy I don't have all day!"

"She's dead father! DEAD!!" Trent blurted out.

Severus' face dropped "Who is dead Trent?" fearing the worst that it was his Morgan, Trent's mother, his heart was hammering in his chest.

"Hermione Granger, sir, you know the great Gryffindor that Aunt Minerva is always going on about, Harry Potter's best friend. She died last night." Trent stumbled over his words.

Severus' face went whiter than normal; his one true love had died the one woman who owned his black heart (though Morgan would never know this) had died and he was still alive it didn't seem right.

_Please  
Take this  
And run far away  
Far away from me  
I am  
Tainted  
The two of us  
Were never meant to be  
All these  
Pieces  
And promises and left behinds  
If only I could see  
In my  
Nothing  
You meant everything  
Everything to me_

**Flash Back**

They were a tangled heap of limbs under his covers as the first ray of morning made it's was through the curtain. As he stirred he pulled her closer breathing in the smell of her hair, he kissed her gently and smiled "You know Hermione what is left of my black heart is yours to do as you please" he whispered to her

_Gone_

**Flash Back**

She smiled at him a smile that never failed to take his breath away "That's rather lucky then Severus I was in desperate need of a new heart, mine was stolen you see." She replied groggily

_Fading everything  
And all that could have been_

**Present Day**

Severus gasped for breath "You are sure Trent?" he was silently praying his son had got it wrong. "Yes, sir" Trent replied in a small voice "She died last night". Trent silently walked away as grief took over his father; he knew his father and Hermione were close once, he had seen the picture his father kept of them in his desk draw.

_Please  
Take this  
And run far away  
Far as you can see  
I am  
Tainted  
And happiness and peace of mind  
Were never meant for me  
All these  
Pieces  
And promises and left behinds  
If only I could see  
In my  
Nothing  
You meant everything  
Everything to me_

Severus watched her funeral from a far not wanting to intrude on the one's closet to her, never noticing the green eyes that were watching him throughout the whole thing. 

Once the funeral had finished Harry cautiously approached Severus. "She asked me to give this to you, she was so sure you would turn up and you know Hermione she was never wrong." The younger man stated whilst glaring at him. Severus took the letter and nodded at Harry as he turned to leave, Harry stopped him "She never stopped loving you Snape, not even after you kicked her out 

of your life, I will never understand it, you never deserved her love never!" Harry shouted at him, Severus couldn't say anything he just stood their taking the abuse from Harry till Ginny came running over and dragged him away apologising to him.

After everyone had left Severus went over to her grave and sat down, carefully placing down a blood red rose, whilst reading the head stone.

He carefully opened the letter Harry had given him and stared at the open envelope not wanting to see what she wrote but wanting to at the same time. He took a deep breath and opened the letter, a C.D fell out making him laugh trust Hermione to give him something muggle, they both shared a passion for the same muggle bands, and it was probably something he hadn't got a chance to hear yet. There were 2 pieces of parchment in the envelope as well as the C.D, one was a letter he decided to read that first...

_Severus,_

_Firstly I want you to know that I never stopped loving not even when you told me you didn't love me, I knew you were lying to save yourself, you never expected to make it through the war and you felt you didn't deserve to live either did you? I understand that you pushed me away because of this, it took me a while but I do understand. I will always love you though._

_I guess you probably laughed at the C.D good thinking from me then huh? On this C.D is the one song that always made me think of you from our band Severus, from our band, I heard you named your son after Trent, I just wish it was our son. Anyway I included the lyrics for you to read._

_I will always love you, you where my everything, you are my everything_

_Hermione._

As he read through the lyrics the tears started, he did nothing to stop them, and the lyrics had summed everything up. He looked up and saw on her head stone an inscription "And all that could have been" realising what it meant made him cry harder. He was his one true love and he let her get away and now, now it was too late. "I always loved you Hermione, only you." He choked out between sobs. As he rose from his sitting position he clutched the letter and lyrics to his heart slipping the C.D into one of his pockets he would listen to it as soon as he got home. 

With one last look at her grave he decided what to next and disappeared with a soft pop.

A week later saw Trent stood between the grave of his father and Hermione Granger, he had finally stopped crying and everyone had left him to have some time to say goodbye. 

"I hope you can finally be happy now father, I do hope she was worth it." Trent choked back another sob and turned to walk away. Before he left he turned back and walked behind the 2 graves taking 

out his wand he inscribed the lyrics he learnt by heart after his father returned home with them the week earlier it was their song he knew now.

'_Breeze still carries the sound  
Maybe I'll disappear  
Tracks will fade in the snow  
You won't find me here _

Ice is starting to form  
Ending what had begun  
I am locked in my head  
With what I've done  
I know you tried to rescue me  
Didn't let anyone get in  
Left with a trace of all that was  
And all that could have been

Please  
Take this  
And run far away  
Far away from me  
I am  
Tainted  
The two of us  
Were never meant to be  
All these  
Pieces  
And promises and left behinds  
If only I could see  
In my  
Nothing  
You meant everything  
Everything to me  
Gone fading everything  
And all that could have been

Please  
Take this  
And run far away  
Far as you can see  
I am  
Tainted  
And happiness and peace of mind  
Were never meant for me  
All these  
Pieces  
And promises and left behinds  
If only I could see  
In my  
Nothing

_You meant everything  
Everything to me'_

_May they be happy together in the world beyond this one._

The End


End file.
